I Moved Abroad as an Au Pair at Age 18. Here’s What it Was Like.

Article Summary:

• An Au Pair is a young person who moves abroad to live with a host family. Au Pairs help with different tasks in exchange for accommodation, food, and some money.
• Being an Au Pair is an amazing opportunity to learn a language, be immersed in a different culture, and travel.
• I was an Au Pair in Spain and Germany, and I recommend the experience for many reasons.
• To get the most out of an Au Pair experience and avoid any pitfalls, there are a few things to consider.

Moving abroad at a young age to live with a family who you’ve probably never met sounds crazy. But doing just that as an Au Pair was the best decision I could have made when I was 18.

I distinctly remember the day I decided to be an Au Pair. An ex-student came into my Spanish class with photos and tales of her experience as an Au Pair, and I was immediately sold. 

An Au Pair is a young person (typically 18 – 30) who lives in a foreign country with a host family. The French term ‘Au Pair’ literally means ‘equal to’ because the idea is that you are an equal member of your host family, balance what you give and what you gain, and are not just an employee.

I’m going to tell you about my experiences as an Au Pair in Spain and Germany. I’ll share the reasons why I recommend being an Au Pair, and give you honest top tips. 

My Au Pair Experience 

I was 18 years old and had been learning Spanish and German for years. I was sold on the idea of being an Au Pair as a way to improve my language skills and immerse myself in different cultures. 

I was an Au Pair on two occasions, and on both occasions, I stayed longer than I had originally planned. I was very lucky that I found host families that I really got on with, in locations that I loved. 

I didn’t know anything about either of the places before I moved there. My first Au Pair experience was in the stunning city of Cuenca, Spain. My second Au Pair experience was in the cool city of Münster, Germany.

When I was looking at profiles on AuPairWorld.com for potential host families, my priority was finding the right family, and the location was secondary. I prioritized finding families who seemed welcoming, kind, and fun. I also looked for families who wanted to learn English and would help me with my language skills. 

I spoke to both of my host families on a video call before agreeing on anything (back when video calls were still a novelty!) I also spent a while on Google Maps checking out my prospective new city! Once agreeing on everything, it wasn’t long before I was on my way to an exciting new chapter. 

My host families were lovely and made me feel at home. I lived with them and shared meals like a member of the family. I was also invited to join family celebrations, events, holidays, and days out. As part of the arrangement, I attended language courses and earned pocket money.

My main tasks were: to help with childcare; do some light household cleaning; and support the children with homework and English practice. I also helped out with other things like doing a weekly veg shop in the market in Germany and buying fresh baguettes in Spain. This really made me feel like a local!

Sometimes the language barrier was challenging (I once accidentally bought way too much cheese in the market!) and I had moments of feeling homesick. And sometimes my host families got on my nerves (hey, no family is perfect!). 

But on both occasions, my initial plan of staying for 3 months quickly turned into 6 months! 

Being an Au Pair was a very special experience. I have many happy memories and keep in touch with my host families. I spent time with lovely people, traveled to beautiful places, and learned about languages and cultures. But what I cherish the most, is that I felt part of a family and got to call these amazing places home.  

7 Reasons Why I Recommend Au Pairing

There are so many reasons to be an Au Pair! Being an Au Pair can be the perfect balance of travel, work, and living in a family environment. I recommend being an Au Pair, especially if you love traveling, languages, spending time with children…or are just looking for something different to do! 

Make sure you stick around for my top tips for Au Pairing afterwards, to ensure you truly get the most out of the experience. 

Opportunity to Travel

I traveled a lot in Spain and Germany whilst I was an Au Pair, and I spent a lot of time getting to know the cities I lived in. I was also lucky enough to travel to other destinations across Europe with my host families. 

Au Pairs are entitled to time off each week, so your days off, and any additional holidays, are a great opportunity to travel. Make the most of it! 

Language Learning 

Being an Au Pair is a great way to learn and practice a language. This was one of the main draws for me! You’ll have full language immersion and are bound to improve quickly. 

As well as informal learning with your host family and friends, Au Pairs are heavily encouraged to attend language courses. Some countries even have specific requirements. For example, host families in Germany must contribute to the cost of their Au Pair’s language course. 

Cultural Immersion 

Living with a family is a special way to get a rich cultural experience of a country. You’ll be living, eating, shopping (and maybe even dancing!) like a local. 

From singing German Advent songs around the dinner table, to savoring homemade Tortilla de Patatas, my host families welcomed me into their worlds. I also introduced some culture from my country Wales into their homes! 

Making Good Friends 

I made lifelong friends whilst I was an Au Pair. I met some amazing people through my host families, language courses and exchanges, and online sites like Meetup. I had friends from all over the world and learned so much from them!

Experience Living Abroad With a Support Network

It’s daunting to move abroad, especially if you’re 18 and haven’t lived independently before. But when you move abroad as an Au Pair, you already have a bit of a support network. 

Your host family should look after you and show you around the area, which makes it much easier to feel settled and supported. If you find a host family through an agency, you will have their support too.

Some young people opt to volunteer abroad as a way of experiencing another country with a support network, but this can have its pitfalls, as Sky shares in her article on voluntourism.

Live Abroad with Flexibility and Low Commitment  

I connected with my host families through AuPairWorld.com and we had an agreement with lots of flexibility. I had the option to leave early if things didn’t work out or extend my stay if things went well (which they did!)

If you go through an Au Pair agency or have specific visa restrictions, you may need to commit to a fixed term. But there is always flexibility and you’ll never be stuck with a host family if there are issues.

Spend Time Away From The Rat Race

When I was 18, I didn’t really know what to do after school. I knew I wanted a break from academic studies and I knew I wanted to see more of the world. I spent almost two years abroad, as an Au Pair, working as an English teacher, and traveling. 

These years were invaluable and I’m so grateful for the experience! Being an Au Pair is character-building and gives endless opportunities to learn and explore. I’m so pleased that I didn’t dive straight into studying or working, and gave myself time to explore something different. 

9 Top Tips for Being an Au Pair

Every Au Pair experience is different! Many factors affect your experience, from the host family to the location, the friends you make to the day trips you can do. 

Ultimately, everyone will have a different experience and you have to do what’s best for you.  

Here are my top tips to have a great time as an Au Pair.

Consider What You Want From The Experience 

It’s best to start your Au Pairing journey with some criteria and preferences in mind, especially if you’re finding a host family yourself. Whilst you should be open-minded, you need to know your boundaries.

It’s good to consider your reasons for being an Au Pair, and what you want to get from the experience. For example, consider whether you want to look after babies or older children and whether you want to be in a big city or a smaller town. Think about whether the work pattern and family’s lifestyle would suit you. 

This also helps you make the most of the experience when you’re there, as you’ll arrive with some ideas and priorities in mind. 

Learn Some of the Language Before You Go

Being an Au Pair is a great way to learn a language and have full language immersion. You’re likely to pick up lots of the language when you’re there, whether that’s your main goal or not. However, I recommend learning a bit before you go. This will make it easier, and give you more confidence, to have initial interactions with people.  

Check the Guidelines of the Country 

Most countries have specific regulations and guidelines for Au Pairs. These usually include details on important conditions such as the minimum pocket money, maximum working hours, days off, language courses, and insurance. AuPairWorld.com has loads of great information about different country requirements. 

Make sure you know what the regulations are and that your host family sticks to them. You’ll also need to follow the conditions on the Au Pair’s side, from visa requirements to fulfilling the agreed tasks. 

Keep Yourself Safe

Before agreeing to anything with a host family or agency, make sure you have checked the contract and any other conditions. Although some families will be happy to have an informal agreement, I recommend having something in writing.

Once you’ve moved, you’re bound to have lots of fun! For many Au Pairs, it is their first time living abroad and living independently. This is an exciting chapter of life! But you still need to be sensible and keep yourself safe, as you would if you were solo traveling. 

Hopefully, everything will go smoothly and you’ll get on with your family. But it’s worth coming up with a backup plan and some ideas, should being an Au Pair not work out as you expected. 

Protect Your Time 

It’s important to balance the time you spend with your family as an Au Pair, the time you spend just hanging out with them, and the time you have to yourself. This can be a tricky balance, especially as you all live together and you will hopefully enjoy spending time with your host family. 

There’s no exact science to this, so just be mindful of the balance. Adjust things and talk to your host family if the balance doesn’t feel right or you don’t have sufficient free time in a week. 

Remember that being an Au Pair is not the same as being a full-time nanny. As per my previous point, make sure you stick to the agreed working hours and days off. 

Maintain Open Communication With Your Family

It can be hard to speak openly with your host family, especially if there is a language barrier. But it’s really important to be open and honest with your host family and to expect the same back. 

If any issues arise with your host family or you have any concerns or questions, talk to them! You’re likely to encounter some misunderstandings which are usually remedied by talking them through. Having open communication with your host family will help you get to know each other, build trust, and become closer. 

Think About Finances

Au Pairs usually earn a modest monthly amount of pocket money. As you also get accommodation and food, this can be enough. But an Au Pair budget can be tight! It’s worth saving some money before you go, budgeting carefully whilst there, and seeing if you have the option to earn any additional income. 

Socialise With Others 

As much as you will come to love your host family, you will sometimes need a break from them! Make sure you go out and meet some friends to hang out and explore the area with. The friends I had as an Au Pair made the experience even better!

I met friends through events on Meetup, language courses, and language exchanges. I also met fellow Au Pairs who I connected with online. Here are some good suggestions for how to meet friends as an Au Pair. 

Be Open Minded 

The joy of being an Au Pair is living in a foreign country and trying out new things. From the generosity of people you meet to the places you visit, embrace the opportunities that being an Au Pair presents. 

And most of all, enjoy it!

***

Being an Au Pair can be a really special, rewarding, and exciting experience. I was an Au Pair twice and had a great time! 

If you’re considering being an Au Pair and have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments below. It’d be great for anyone who has been an Au Pair to share their experience and top tips too! 

🎙️ Listen to the Podcast: Nate & Betty feature this article in Episode 2 of the Travel Lemming Podcast on YouTube (starts at 6:21). You can also tune in on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!