My 9-year-old loved planning her own trip. This is what it taught her.

The countdown was on for the last day of school. There was officially one month left, but who was counting? My daughter. She was counting. And the days were approaching quickly. 

One evening over dinner, my daughter leisurely asked if she could take a “solo” trip. By “solo,” she meant without me. 

It turns out that my solo trip to Madrid had inspired my daughter to plan a trip of her own. Although I felt a little salty that I was not invited to come along, I knew she was ready to pursue her own adventure. 

As a single mom, I know how difficult it can be to navigate the reality that as parents, we cannot always be with our children at all times. I had separation anxiety over a slumber party my daughter was invited to just a few blocks away from home. So I wasn’t surprised when the fear kicked in the moment I bought her (and my mother’s) flight for her “solo” trip.

Fear, negative thoughts, and anxiety are all normal emotions we face as parents. Yet, the reality is that accidents, injury, illness, and lost luggage can all happen anywhere, at any time (with or without me). There are so many things that are just out of our control. 

However, one thing I am sure of, is the confidence and agency I have cultivated in my daughter from a very young age. She has been wandering around the airport almost all her life, as we are frequent travelers. These travel experiences have taught her to trust her gut and make sound decisions.

There are many structured travel opportunities for children of almost any age that are developmentally appropriate and safe. Helping my 9-year-old plan her own “solo” trip was another opportunity to prepare her for the future. 

Here’s everything my daughter’s “solo” trip (with my mother) taught her:

Personal Growth

Planning her own trip and managing travel logistics provided my daughter with tons of personal growth. With my help, she took an idea, made plans, and brought a trip to life. 

Together, we created a list of questions, answered them, and used them as our guard rails. These questions were determined by her readiness, and my personal parenting style.

Where was she going? Georgia to visit our family. How long was she visiting? One week. Who was her travel buddy? My mother. Who was she staying with? My cousin, her husband, and their children. 

With every answer she gave me, I realized she carefully thought out and planned every detail. I recognized her dedication and took it from there. I turned her plans into reality. I made the phone calls, booked the flights, and left it up to my daughter and family to create a memorable itinerary together.

Self-Awareness

I find that the airport is where all of the learning starts. It is such a dynamic setting that offers a rare opportunity to deepen self-awareness. There are so many moments where it is easy to pause and check in with yourself. 

Being at the airport without me, created a unique experience for my daughter to foster self-awareness. It presented a mix of emotions, decisions to make, and moments of reflection. 

The airport has a bustling atmosphere with people from all walks of life. It encouraged her to be more conscious of her feelings, desires, and responses to the environment around her. 

My daughter felt excited for her upcoming trip to Georgia. However, she also felt a nervous anticipation for her first flight without me. This gave her the opportunity to assess and manage her stress.

She used one of my tricks to combat airport anxiety and read a book. It allowed her to occupy her mind with a healthy escape to another world. This helped her to distract herself from any concerns on the flight.

The airport gave my daughter a deeper understanding of her own interests and capabilities. She had the autonomy to decide what she wanted to eat. How to get there. How much to pay for food. And where to go next. 

She led my mother to the map and together they decided where they would be eating. They navigated their way to the location by following the signs. Not only did they budget for time before the flight boarded, but she also budgeted how much to spend on food based on what she had saved from her allowance. 

All of these little personal decisions contributed to her own self-awareness and how she connects with the world around her.

Adaptability

This “solo” trip offered my daughter an invaluable opportunity to develop adaptability. It pushed her outside of her comfort zone. It also made her navigate new environments, make independent decisions, and solve problems on her own. 

My daughter stayed with my cousin and her family during her entire trip. Although she had been to my cousin’s home numerous times to play with the kids, she was now exposed to a new family routine and summer commitments. 

Staying with another family helped her be open and flexible to different morning, evening, and bedtime routines. It also offered her the opportunity to make new friends and create lasting experiences together. 

During her trip, she joined her cousin at her school mate’s pool party. The pool party left a positive impact on my daughter, which made her feel connected and confident. 

My daughter even wrote a story about it in school when she was assigned to share her favorite summer memory. Writing about it helped her relive the joy, excitement, laughter, and fun games of that day.

Without my constant presence, my daughter was able to adjust to unfamiliar routines, make the best of unexpected experiences, and simply handle daily challenges independently. 

Confidence

Making independent decisions and navigating situations on this trip assured my daughter of her ability to handle challenges. She successfully navigated travel and even maneuvered through an inevitable mishap. 

My daughter was on a summer getaway. So it was easy for her to get carried away with eating sweets, ice cream, pizza, and other easy-to-eat foods. With family gatherings, summer activities, and lack of my presence… there were more opportunities to indulge. 

One day she went over her limit with too many ice cold treats, which led her to have an upset stomach. She got creative and solved the problem on the fly (without me). 

She already knew the drill. She drank water, ate applesauce, laid on the couch, and even asked for a heating pad to rest on her belly. 

Even though she handled that hurdle with grace, she knew she could count on me for backup. And she did. She shot me a message tracing all of the steps she took and wanted to verify she wasn’t missing anything. She had it all covered.

The good and the challenging experiences on this trip only enhanced her resilience. Having tackled that time away from me gave her the agency required to face the next steps into adulthood. But above all, through this trip, she gained self-confidence.

This “solo” trip my daughter planned helped her build resilience, confidence, and flexibility. She became more self-sufficient and better able to cope with the unpredictable nature that is life. 

Ultimately, allowing your children to plan a “solo” trip (within boundaries) encourages them to embrace uncertainty with a positive mindset. The entire process will foster their growth and maturity.

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Thanks for reading! If you’re looking for more articles like this one, see Laura’s article “I let my kids plan our family trips.”